The youth of my daughter reminds me of my own mortality. I add the years, like most parents I guess, to her 21st when I will be 57. My oldest daughter, Piper, has her 13th birthday this year and it looks like I won't be part of it which brings another bunch of unwanted feelings into my life. The fact that Zen has so many years ahead of her and I'm in at the point of my life when what I am currently doing will probably be what I will do for the rest of my life doesn't make me sad in any way at all. I would have liked to have been one of the rich or famous, I would have liked to have been a better person than who I am but doesn't everybody? In the end it doesn't matter what I do or have done it's weather I am happy and those around me have felt the same. In the case of my eldest daughter there is not much I can do about how she lives her life, it's a case of whether she decides, when she is old enough, that her old man is worthy of her attention. For my youngest, Zen, it's a case of making sure she gets the best out of life I can give her and my own philosophy in life has a lot to do with both.
With that in mind, putting Santa and the Tooth Fairy aside, what happens when other kid start to ask
questions of my daughter about whether she believes in god? I was raised without religion and for the longest time I followed my Grandfathers religion which was Baha'i. My mother, as far as I'm concerned, has turned as atheist as I am and will not teach my daughter anything as fictional as god. Come to think of it, my mother has never taught me anything about a god of any kind, it was left up to me to decide what it was I to believe or not believe. I wasn't circumcised and I would like to think it's because there was no reasonable reason that I should be so good on you Mum. I may be a complete man when it comes to the whole foreskin debacle, but what is it about my upbringing that got me to believe what I believe now? Noting. I can't make it any more clear that that if I tried. My mother told me noting about religion that I didn't ask about nor the after life or spiritualism or what ever you want. I'm sure she had some opinions on the subject but they were her opinions and hers alone. My grandmother, also, never let her personal opinions get in the way of my life's education and I can take a leaf out of both books when it comes to educating Zen.
Some of what I am talking to you about today I have never even thought about until now. I guess I have been lucky enough to be brought up in a family where your personal belief doesn't change the fact you are part of the family and nobody will take the piss. Not only should this be part of my philosophy towards my daughter but to all those I come in contact with. I want to be open and accepting of anything she wants to be part of, but am I going to be bias? Of course I am. At least I am in my own mind. I'm not going to have a good time at all if Zen decides that Christianity, or any other religion for that matter, is her life's path as that will tell me I didn't teach her to be a critical thinker. I know I'm not the only one to think that religion is the basis for all that is wrong with this world.
It is her life. It does bring up another question, if she does turn to religion, was I not a good father? These fears have no ground as yet and I dare not tempt them but on the same token, I can't stop her from becoming a believer. If she does then her and I have lost nothing. She may loose some time, time that was occupied by preying and not living life. But it doesn't actually hurt her.
Or does it?
I can teach her all critical thinking I can but there is that period of any teenagers time of life when nothing an adult says can be taken as truth and where hormones will make her vulnerable to peer pressure. There are times when she friends will try to introduce the supernatural side of life and she may be quite taken with it but once the questions start to be asked I think those small experimentation in life - like Wicca, will ware off and she will become a more critical thinker who will make me proud. No doubt I will also be on the other end of her critical thinking and I hope she can teach me a few things.
Only time will tell.
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