GENESIS 11

OK, readers, let us turn to Genesis 11 in our bibles for some inspiration from god.  This is an interesting chapter, put right smack in the middle on the genealogy section is this story about how all the languages of the world became what they are today... without any linguistic evolution of course.

THE TOWER OF BABEL

1 Now the whole world had one language and a common speech

Makes sense...

2 As people moved eastward, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there.

3 They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar.

...following so far although, their building a tower made of bricks and only held together by tar?  I'm skeptical. 

4 Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

...and then logic went out the window. What made them think they would be scattered?

5 But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building.

6 The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.

7 Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

In other words, god was afraid that they would grow a brain and start asking questions therefore god's rule over humans would be even more fragile.

8 So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city.

God is an asshole!

9 That is why it was called Babel—because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth.

Just how did god scatter them over the earth? I can imagine one of three things; a) they were suddenly levitated and flew thousands of miles to a different country or, b) the great big, freaky hand of god which was attached to a great big, freaky, hairy arm of god came down from out of the clouds and man handled them to the different countries of the earth or, c) the "whole earth" consisted of the a fifty mile radius from the centre of some point in the middle east where the writer sat uncomfortably on a bail of hay coming up with a stone age answer to the reason for the different language in the next township.

FROM SHEM TO ABRAM

10 This is the account of Shem’s family line. Two years after the flood, when Shem was 100 years old, he became the father of Arphaxad.

Yeah, more genealogy... just what we needed. This all better have a point to it because it's not helping the authors cause. It's like the writer feels it's important to show mow many thousands of years after the fact when the book was written. It almost as if this book is just a compilation of old legends passed down from father to son.

11 And after he became the father of Arphaxad, Shem lived 500 years and had other sons and daughters.

12 When Arphaxad had lived 35 years, he became the father of Shelah.

13 And after he became the father of Shelah, Arphaxad lived 403 years and had other sons and daughters.

14 When Shelah had lived 30 years, he became the father of Eber.

15 And after he became the father of Eber, Shelah lived 403 years and had other sons and daughters.

16 When Eber had lived 34 years, he became the father of Peleg.

17 And after he became the father of Peleg, Eber lived 430 years and had other sons and daughters.

18 When Peleg had lived 30 years, he became the father of Reu.

19 And after he became the father of Reu, Peleg lived 209 years and had other sons and daughters.

20 When Reu had lived 32 years, he became the father of Serug.

21 And after he became the father of Serug, Reu lived 207 years and had other sons and daughters.

22 When Serug had lived 30 years, he became the father of Nahor.

23 And after he became the father of Nahor, Serug lived 200 years and had other sons and daughters.

24 When Nahor had lived 29 years, he became the father of Terah.

25 And after he became the father of Terah, Nahor lived 119 years and had other sons and daughters.

26 After Terah had lived 70 years, he became the father of Abram, Nahor and Haran.

ABRAM'S FAMILY

27 This is the account of Terah’s family line.

Terah became the father of Abram, Nahor and Haran. And Haran became the father of Lot.

28 While his father Terah was still alive, Haran died in Ur of the Chaldeans, in the land of his birth.

29 Abram and Nahor both married. The name of Abram’s wife was Sarai, and the name of Nahor’s wife was Milkah; she was the daughter of Haran, the father of both Milkah and Iskah.

30 Now Sarai was childless because she was not able to conceive.

31 Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan. But when they came to Harran, they settled there.

32 Terah lived 205 years, and he died in Harran.

Did anybody actually read all that or did you just skim through it? I know you just skimmed over it because that's what I did.